Finally.

I went to school after missing lessons for two consecutive days.
That four days of rest and leisure were a major freakshow.
I realised that I'm so freaking contented with what I have.
After all I am giving what I receive.

And that idiot started talking to me again.
Same old jokes and same old shit.
He needs to learn to respect women.
Even that Kamal shit I played with him, that sonofagun hasn't learn anything. Instead he want to try his luck with Kamal. Pshhh. Bloody desperate!

Today's lesson. Repetition of the Chi Square thing.
It would be terribly unethical of me to say that the lesson was easy. It wasn't. Not easy to understand and not easy to work out. Very tedious.

I'm hell prepared for the UT. Partially.
And yeah, I am scared of it, but I wouldn't want to dampen my spirits.

Right now, all I am hearing is the "chance factor..2.5..0.13...."some statictical stuff. Pretty mind-boggling for even a Math "genius" like me...

It's so freaking cold...



Counts: 0

"And maybe it's true, I am caught up on you"

Don’t give me the discrimination shit if you don’t bloody well walk on that path yourself.
I’m here wondering what the hell I did to you that totally changed your attitude towards me and there you are creating more rifts by keeping me in the dark.
I’m not the one being selective, if you haven’t notice, I have been the one trying to be a good friend and support you against all odds.
Now when it’s my turn to be a good friend to others, I hear someone erupted.
I’m trying to work on this but you aren’t making it any easier.
For your own sake, I plead you to just throw every diffidence aside and let us just overcome all trials and tribulations.
You do know that if I lose all my respect for you, you’ll be the one who’s going to be hurt, not me.
It’s easy for any person to dislike anyone.
But it’s never simple to feel disliked and hated.

I feel so relieved having said that.
Sorry, if it reall hurts...

Friday.
One Night.

In that one night, I realised I am beyond myself.
Kinda strange how one random night changes the way I think.


So basically, I have to agree that I love to suck up even if I have to punch my ego aside.
At least, it makes a difference to someone.


And I just discovered, I am ADDICTED TO MINTS!!! That's bad, considering the fact that mints can cause impotency...But what the hell....I love MINTS!

And I'm no more an irritable person anymore...wicked, innit? I have control over myself

My One Night with the girls...
After school, we headed to Vivo for windowshopping. It was worthwhile. I have been eyeing some items till date. And I am just waiting for the perfect day to splurge.

The Rock was there for some gala premiere and I caught a glance of the steelman. He's still the same wrestler I screamed for in the Indoor Stadium during the WWF world tour.

We had our dinner at my fav place, Figs and Olive.
I and Aru ordered the Fish Melted Cheese (yummy cheese!) and sarah ordered baked potato with ham and cheese and whatnots.
I had a banana milkshake (I guess) and my fav. brownie and ice cream (MAJOR INDULGENCE!!!) - so much for losing weight.



After dinner, the two went to top level to indulge in the fineness of the night.



After much delay, I got home about 11.30.



No words. Just sheer understanding.



Looking forward to a night with my babes...

The days are getting splendid by the moment.

I'm loving them and I have no regrets.

Everything's falling into place.

And I'm falling out of fantasy

That's good enough, I guess , for now.

Last night.



I was telling Sharan about what G said regarding punjabis and how I totally agreed with him, only thing is that now I want to be rooted to my culture. I just have regrets that I didn't do any sooner. So much for accepting to be an outcaste till I lost touch of the pure language too.



So somehow, our convo steered to bhangra nights and I told her that this time, I am going to go there with you. While talking about the mela, we started talking about netball and NDK and Gasolinas came into the picture. And she reminded me how those bloody bitches are proud of themselves and love to pride their mere existence. But in reality, the reigning champ has been the Baylies.



So as we were talking, I remembered an incident that occurred between me and harry from NDK.

The NDK assholes

It was a Sunday. One of those soccer practices.

I had booked the bloody field two days in advance. An official booking.

When I came there, the field was occupied with with the netball bitches. (I have nothing against netball players, I just don't like people who pretend they are all that)

I approached her since I knew her somehow.

Our convo:

K (all naturally cool, as a matter of fact): Hey we booked this full field for two hours

H (getting ready to fight, very defensive): But we came here first

K (pissed at her attitude): I have record that I booked this field. It's in the office

H (almost shouting) : But I just signed to get permission to use it

K ("eh don't you get the bloody point that I had it booked in advance"): I called up the office two days in advance to secure our booking. Technically, the field should be ours.

H (still defensive): We need to practice netball and we were here first.

K (after discussion with Ash): We'll use the other side.

What the hell. People are talking to you nicely and all you show is disrespect. Doesn't this make you wonder why I don't mix around with the mainstream cliques?

After some time, she suddenly said: You guys used this side (back to her teammates: " they need the goal posts).

K ("oh great, at least a spark of intelligence lighted in your pea-sized brain...finally"): Ok thanks.

That day, I was so tempted to give her a one tight slap. But wasted, she was my cousin's girlfriend then.

I wonder why these people think they are so cool. Such bloody turn-offs.

They aren't even cool. Cowdung!

Seriously, bloody "Punjabis"!

I don't know whether I should be going to sleep with a smile or wonder what the hell just happened throughout the course of the day. When I tell the crew that what was said didn't really affect my mental or emotional well-being, they put it off as bullshit. Ha! Now that's funny. It's alright if you don't believe me. I know what was said and it was freaking bullshit that got me laughing my head off.

I really have no idea how I should interpret it.
Stupidity?
Full-headiness?
Obliviousness?
Ignorance?
Or plainly, naivete?
Seriously, I can't interpret it.
But thank you bro (I shall not put your name here for your sensitivity) for all your advice. I really appreciate you wisdom.

I know I have been mean regards to that but I can't help it.
I am seriously amused. Like, totally amused.
Hell, shit, I don't even know where my day's gone too ever since I've gotten engrossed in that subject.

If I wanted, I could have revealed all details here, but I shall respect the other's confidentiality.

Today, for no particular reason, I feel great. Evil. Cunning. Naughty. But great. I guess that's what I get for being myself.



Counts: 1

"And maybe it's true, I'm caught up on you"

The start of the weekend.
So much for resting after such an exhausting week for school.
Finally, got off my lazy butt to transfer all the pics into my comp.
Go, look at my art and laughing your heads off. LOL






That was yesterday's idleness.

Today, I went for the ceremony.
Ceremony, boring.
Saw Punitha, my ex-classmate dance to a rocking tamil song. Superb entertainment
I was awestruck by the reception. Never seen something so (how do you say it) colourful.

Those are the two darlings I live for...
After the ceremony, we headed to CWP for some girls' time. And I finally bought a pair of comfortable platforms for myself from C&K and a new temp. watch that will last shocks till I get my old baby fixed.

"And maybe it's true, I guess I'm caught up on you"

Counts: 0

Morning. As usual I woke up at the break of dawn. Was too lazy to take the bus so I decided I'd travel to school by MRT (hopefully, get my prayers answered. as if...I am not that desperate).

Reached school. 2nd in class. No biggie (pshh!)

Today, I was relocated into my new team with Nas, Aru, Lucy and Bullet.
My first reaction, "Shit!"/"Alamak"
But I was wrong.
He isn't so bad as a teammate, he just got to learn basic courtesy and have some sense that sensitive issues such as gore and hematological arts should not be discussed openly. I don't like that.

In the morning, Nas questioned us why we were being so nice to him. And I was like, shut up and appreciate what you have. We are nice, and you question. My God! :P
When will people learn?!?!?!

And Aru will never stop calling me names that I dare not type here
*Oh I hate you...arghh

For no reason, I felt like slacking today.
I was in no mood.
UT: complete sucker. Again, carelessness.

Stayed back in school till late for all the bloody rehearsals.
Have yet to get my prayers answered.

Does anybody bothers what is at the end of the journey that they are slogging through?
It's kind of sad nobody cares...oh well...what am I to do..

Counts: 0

"Teri yaad 'ch betheyaan hun na kaleyaan waqt guzaarey"
(Can't spend a moment alone, dwelling in thoughts of you)

Tuesday morning.
Woke up limping but miraculously I could walk to school.
Went to class. Was relocated to ally's and aru's group.
He had to make me a tease again with "that sounds so wrong".

Lesson was cool.
Got to join tables with Sarah's team.
While I was telling CX to not put his bag behind marc, he said that I should be the one worried since I am exactly behind him.

I was paying attention to my UT notes all the while and this time I know I am going to get a B.

The UT was okay. But I made a hell lots of mistakes. Lost five marks because I didn't think properly. Shit. I knew my stuff yet I was oblivious to the question. 11 marks gone.

After school, had a quick dinner with Sarah, Yogoh and Nas. I ordered the grilled entree. It was "superb, mindblowing, fantastic". Just difficult to dissect.

Went home. Had a bath.
And I could feel the pain in the shin muscle. Excruciating.
Can't move my elbow properly. Shit!



Count: 0

"And maybe it's true, I am caught up on you"

The day started off quiet. No idea why.

But who knew things were to change.
Had my lunch with the crew but received alot more than I expected.
It was wholesome.
I don't care what he thinks, but I am satisfied.

It got better in the afternoon.
The sms seemed true unless its bad news in the making. After all, history loves to repeat itself no matter how much I try to forget it.

One thing I notice, ties are loosening up and it's sure isn't my fault this time. I wonder why no one believes in following whatever you preach. I guess we don't love to be selective when it comes to people we are very close to. We just want to appreciate what we have and not complain at all.

The day had to end off with pain.

On my way home, I had a bad fall...suffered some bruises and a major blow to my shin. Now it hurts like hell. But whatever the case, the incident in the morning covers up everything.

Hopefully, I can walk tomorrow.



Count: 2

"Maybe it's true, I'm caught up on you"

I might indulge in shopping when I have cash in hand.
I might run to brands for my therapeutic spree.
I might dine in exclusivity when I feel like it.
But I still savour the simple things in life.

Even simpler than you could even imagine.

After all, it's the sincerity and meaning that counts.

I don't need riches nor do I look for them to feel happy.

I am what I am.
And I prefer it that away.


And maybe it's true, I'm caught up on you

The day's been hell crazy, man.

So much for attending class for my A.

Took the opportunity to wake up an hour later so that I could reach Bedok Central on the dot.
That place is amazing. Not in looks but in terms of the length of the queue. Its mega long. No wonder I was late for school.

My trip there was a waste. They didn't want to confirm the paper's content at all. And worse still, I couldn't get a taxi to school.

And the taxi driver was an asshole. He took the longer way to school. Hell, I should have told him to use the AMK CTE expressway. Not PIE-BKE.

Reached school. Met the crew at the canteen and went back to class. Since I was totally clueless about the day's lesson, I decided that I'd rather get an X than a C or a D for my daily grade, although I'd still be in class. I will be learning and I will still be maintaining my rep (a genius can't get a C, man! :D)

Did my slides just for the fun of doing so.

Again, during lunch, I completed my errands. It took so long I had no time for lunch. Man, my stomach's growling now.

Came back to class only to realise that I don't understand a thing that's being presented. I can't even pay attention to slides.

Now, it's Aru and Nas team's presentation. I just got to say that the girl the crew can't stand is the laziest bump I have ever seen. Whenever she's presenting, she'd refer to other teams and say something like "...like you all know" or "...like the previous teams have said". It's freaking irritating. I mean come on, work it man.

Sarah was with Dagu while we guys took this in the restroom...Can't tell much though

I ain't trying to play some air guitar...Just wanna flaunt my newly-done nails...Can't tell much difference 'cause I had a natural hew painted on them...And, shit! My hands look so freaking masculine...Yuck, wrong time, man!

The matrep-kinda thingy. Damn nice sial. When I saw, I fell in live with it. In fact, I fell in love with the whole shop. Once I have cash in hand, I'm gonna get a whole new outfit, with matching accessories.

Speechless.
Exhausted.
That's what I am now.
I really don't know how to describe today.
I don't know whether I should be irritated by the events of the day.
Or should I be grateful they didn't worsen.

Some financial matters have yet to be resolved and the deadline's tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. I wonder where my lazy ass was three weeks ago when I was informed about it.

My minds racing around as if its on fire. Dang! I hate stress, man.
*Deep Breath*
I've got to be late for school tomorrow. I just can't have both my own way.

Hopefully, all goes well. Waheguru...

Sammy saw him. I wish I had seen him. He 'looked good' in his white jersey.
*Pulse rate rising*

He recognised Sammy. Yay me?
So much for taking risks.

Shucks. I'm developing something for him. Sorry Aru...

Talking about G, I don't understand why some disagree he's got good looks.
If they're strangers, then I wouldn't mind. Not that I mind if my friends disagree.
But when my friends do disagree and compare him to others that are of a different league, it's tends to be a laughing matter. Seriously, come on people, stop pulling my leg. Haha...G and J...That's hell weird man....


Rab Ji, Sabh da bhala kareen.


Why do I have to be the one to give in and hold on to it till now?
Why can't I be the one to walk away?
I have a say in this, and I have the right to express it too.
So why can't I just speak my mind without bothering about its consequences?

How difficult is it to be honest and humble about reality?
For once, maybe step out of the lie you're living in.
See that not one cares more than the next.

And there'll be so less problematic situations.

It won't take much effort either.

How difficult?

Ride It

Risks are worth experimenting, even if they give you disappointments. I am contented that I finally spoke my mind through some form of means. At least, I've got a stand in this juvenile bull-shit. I'm satisfied and I wouldn't put in any effort in this shit anymore.


If it hadn't been for our "mother", I would have been left wondering and regretting...


At least, now I won't be "left with my 'What if's"...


*To all those who lent their support and showed their concern without us having to utter a word, I love you and thank you...
You guys really show the meaning of"One for all, All for one"...


** Classic Laugh of the day: " Alamak"
Coincidently, it was uttered at the same time I was amazed at how long one takes to propose a break-up and when he slipped in. It sure sends confusing signals.


To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people
To win the affection of children
To earn the approbation of honest critics
To endure the betrayal of accomplices
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in others
To give of one's self
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm
To have sung with exultation
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived
That, in my world, means living life successfully.

1. In two words, explain yesterday : Wholesome living

2. Who made u smile today? That news

3. What were u doing this morning at 8? On the way to school

4. What were u doing 15 minutes ago? Watching TV

5. Something that happened to u in1985? Wasn't born then

6. Last thing someone else said to you? "Give this (plate of fruits) to them"

7. What was ur answer? "I'm tired, Mom...Okay, I wil bring it in"

8. Worst thing on television? Boiling Point, Yo Momma

9. What was in your e mail today? Loads of friendster stuff

10. How many different beverages haveyou drank today? Three

11. What is ur favorite part of the day? Fighting with Bro and pissing him off...ooh I like doing that stuff...poof!...I have no favourites today. It was a bad day.Period.

12. Your current To-do list? Especially PP

13. Where are ur best friends right now? At home

14. What color is ur toothbrush? Purple

15. What are u wearing right now? T-Shirt n Shorts

16. Any plans for Friday night? None so far

17. Least favorite place to shop? I love shopping...anywhere

18. Things u bought today? Nothing else

19. Last gift you received? My wallet

20. Who gave you that? My Mom

21. What made you sad today? My migraine

22. What can make you happy? Me, myself and I

24. Describe your key chain: I've got two...One's a starfish(given to me by my aunt), one's a skull pendant(frm my best friend)

25. Where do u keep ur change? My wallet

26. Are u happy with ur life? Generally, yes. But I would like to erase some unpleasant happenings now to be fully happy. Just be selfish for once.

27. What are u thinking now for someone you love? Yeah...Whatever...

28. If someone you love forgets you and think your're disturbing to him/her then how would you feel? I would be heartbroken...But if that the way it has to be, so be it..."Suit yourself, man!"

29. Person u trust the most? God and Blood

30. What day is it today? Monday

31. what are you going to do afterthis? Take pills and knock out

Lately, many questions have arised regarding my philosophy of life...

When on wednesday, the four of us were sitting around, talking about the boredom that has overwhelmed their lives, one point was stated clear and precise; I am contented with my life and I need no unnecessary risk-taking to spice up the dry routines of life.

And about G, I am not even head over heels crazy over him. Nashwin, is just a plain infatuation. In days to come, I will be bored of being crazy over him and poof!, I'll move on to liking some other guy. Period.

But if taking the first step is what I have to, I'm game for it.

However, there are reasons why I don't take risks and one, namely, is I believe in practicality which has rarely given me any regrets.

When they say "Carpe Diem", "Jo hai sama, jee bhar jee yo", I don't have to let myself loose as if I'm going to die then and there.

[Layer One: On the Outside]
Name: Kiranjeet Kaur Dhaliwal
Birth Date: 15 December 1989
Current Status: Single & Happy
Eye Color: Dark brown - black
Hair Color: Brown-black
Righty or Lefty: I’m always Right, as usual...

[Layer Two: On the Inside]
Your Heritage: Hardcore Punjabi...Faithful Sikh
Your Fear: Fear – or namely, anxiety and paranoia
Your Weakness: People close to me...Take them away and I’ll be drowned in depression
Your Perfect Pizza : Sweet and Spicy...S’pore BBQ

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: Shit! I am so gonna rot big time this sem...Shit!
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: -----tired-----“No no...tell me how...”-----Zzzz. Out!
Your Most Missed Memories: My childhood days when there wasn’t a thing I had to worry about

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
MacDonald or Burger King: Burger King, period.
Single or Group Dates: Who does group nowadays? Weird!
Adidas or Nike: Nike. Nothing beats the style...but regarding practical purchase, I’d go with Fila
Tea or Nestea: Tea. Masaledaar and sweet
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, Dark (sour and a great indulgence)...with mint essence...*super sexy!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino with whipped cream and skim milk

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke: Don’t do that...Tried hookah but nah, aren’t addicted to that...
Curse: When I have been provoked...
Take showers: hell, yeah
Have a crush: yeah, I think so...
Think you are in love: Nope. I don’t see myself any further with him than this...This’ just stupid...
Go to school: umm, yeah
Want to get married: someday...when I settled with life
Believe in yourself: YES
Think you are a health freak: I wish I still was...I miss those days in the team...

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: I don’t do alcohol
Gone to the mall: Yup.
Been on stage: Nope
Eaten sushi: Nope
Dyed your hair: Nope. I prefer it the way it is.

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: Nah...I’m not that foolish...
Changed who you were to fit in: Haha, hell no...I have got a unique identity and I like it...I don’t give a damn if others are intimidated or disgusted by me, I like what I am

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: 26-28

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Short Hair or Long Hair: Short and un-gelled/un-waxed...just natural

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Struggling to do this quiz
1 Hour Ago: Just got home from school.
4.5 Hours Ago: Was in school
1 Month Ago: School holidays.
1 Year Ago: Somewhere in school, in Singapore

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: my life
I Feel: tempted to succumb to frustration
I Hate: Full-headed and wannabes
I Hide: what is worth being a secret
I Need: a B&J’s treat...

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1) Aruna
2) Amman
3) Asvin
4) Sharan
5) Simran

Had school as usual...But wasted, today was Wednesday and you know year 3's are always bumped at their homes...

Lesson was okay...nothing great...but very tedious...so tedious, I wanted to pull my hair out (but I didn't have the heart too because it took ages to do my hair today)

Anyway, after school was when all the jokes started...
Sarah played the MUMMY and we were the daughters and son...
This is how she planned the game out so that she will benefit and we, cry in pain for our "dads"...

Sarah + Dagu = dunno how many kids...she hasn't decide at all

But since she wants to be the cool player, she said she would be the "sleeper" (macam slipper, that can be thrown or worn by anyone) and she came up with many possible fathers and daughter combinations...

1) Sarah + Mr. J = Aru (indian mix + "manjen-dutch")
2) Sarah + Mr. W = YoGoh (2 manjen mix)
3) Sarah + Mr. G = Kiki (punjabi...so disturbing...yuck)
4) Sarah + Mr. ? = Nas (this one she had ONS so didn't know who)

So mean right...
The guy I have an infatuation for is my so-called dad...I've been fooled! Sarah!

Anyway, as usual, after school, on the way home, we had nothing bette to do but talk...yes talk again...like LOSERS...But one thing I got to say: Yogoh is VERY NAUGHTY...she needs to be SPANKED... :P

For no particular reason, when all went silent, some people had to say that they were bored of life so suddenly...then the reasoning started...

On the bus home, Aru and I fooled around with Sarah on the phone (we had nothing better to do)
*Some excerpts*

Aru: Tell her I have a boyfriend...
Kiki: Sarah, I have a boy friend...
Sarah: Laughing
Aru: Kiki wants to kiss Nashwin
Kiki: Aru wants to kiss Nashwin
Aru: ...and he's a good kisser...he does all the tongue thing so well
Kiki: and she says that he's a good kisser...he does all the tongue thing so well..
Sarah: huh? what you saying? (she couldn't hear me well)

and I had to repeat myself like a crazy idiot...

Kiki: Hello Sarah...(with a wierd bimbotic tone)
Sarah: ahah (cute la)
Kiki: I love you Sarah (play around)
Sarah: Yuck!

(See... she doesn't even appreciate this...how sad)

Back home, for dinner, I had F&C...



In different frequencies, we exist
In different tongues, we speak
With different mentalities, we live
Yet we are channels of the same radio station...

Woke up in the morning really early...couldn't sleep well...
Caught the later bus and was , no doubt, late for school...funny how I can be late despite being an early bird (don't bother dwelling on my daily dynamics)...

The bloody bus was so full...it was taking ages to reach the interchange.

The lesson started okay...It was so cheem, I was lost for the moment...Nevertheless, I pretended to be fully participative...Hopefully, the teacher noticed my "hard work"...

Mickey, as per normal, sent a lovely message to almost all of us in the morning and he accidently sent it to bullet. Woah, bullet was a killer...his reply was very curt and irritable...IDIOT! He complained to poor Mickey that the messages were causing his laptop to lag...blah blah blah...That loser's crazy...

First thing we did during first breakout was to get out of the class...we didn't even got the chance to research well, forget discussing well with the team...I got fooled by some porn joke...

Late for meeting...but managed to impress the faci

*skip to after school*
Went for Ice cream at Mac in cwp...
On the way back, guess what...I saw G...foo!
My heart started beating fast and hard...My body shivered...
I really don't know what to say....It was indescribable...Major euphoria!!
Tall...Sweet looking...Handsome...PUNJABI!
Words just can't escape my mouth now...
Murder G!!!