The holidays have been a good rest for me from my studies. I'd thought I could save some time for studies but knowing myself, I care about fun as much as Darwin cared about his evolution concept.

I have been in and out of house a tad too much and that's why I have had no updates till date. I started off with a small phrase in mind but decided it'll be best if I write a few more words. As always, I have lots to say but I am in no mood to regurgitate that stuff again so I'ma end with this;

Lets PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!

I'm just in that mood on a Sunday morning, don't ask why.

Exhiliration.
So psyched I was that it made the rest suspicious.

You would know I hate you when I stop shying away from your flirtatious attempts.
You would know I hate you when I stop laughing to my fullest at your lamest jokes.
You would know I hate you when I stop sending messages to ask about you.
You would know I hate you when I hit you hard because I really mean to cause you pain.
You would know I hate you when I start ignoring your advances
You would know I hate you when I am nicer to you than I should be.
You would know I hate you when I treat you just the same despite all that you did.
You would know I hate you when I am bold and open to you about everything.
You would know I hate you when I say things that you like to hear.

And you would know I hate you when I say it to your face.

All I asked for was a simple birthday, but I got more than I wanted.

Anyone in my shoes would understand how it felt to be surrounded by all my loved ones, my one-and-common wish. The exuberance, the love, the simplicity of the whole affair, I am seriously more than grateful to God for giving me a beautiful start to my weekend and my holidays in the form of my birthday.


Friday:
Immunology

It was the most boring lesson anyone could have.

Anyway, in the morning, Sarah surprised (and I mean really surprised) me with a small cute tiny cake. And a candy cane and a card. I really could contain the feelings within me man! The best was yet to happen.
During the lunch break, we headed to our special place for a rendezvous with the beautiful scenery. And for the first time, I learnt how to light a candle using those old-fashioned lighters. Getting ready to celebrate, we chanced upon Noro and Fidah. And then, it was a merry time with loud multilingual birthday songs and the usual laughs at the usual suspect for being affected by black lizards (Yuck!).

After school, the girls and I headed to Causeway Point. I had no idea they had planned a dinner for us but I admit I was scared shit when they kept dropping hints like slippery floors and tall heights. We had our dinner at Seoul Garden and hanged out at the bike park thereafter.

At home, I did not know I had a good helluva surprise waiting for me. Just a few minutes before my birthday, I was presented with a simple token that reminisced the good times I had as a kid. “I was a happy kid then”. Though I still am, at times. HAHA.

Saturday:
MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Yes! I’m finally 18! HAHA.
My birthday started with prayers and the Ardas. My mom had been preaching the Guru Granth Sahib Ji (just the sanchiyaan) for my wellness and today was the day she ended her prayers and did the Ardas. After the Ardas and the Bhog, I had to get ready for the school open house.

The open house was rocking! With Noro and Fidah, we were distracted from our booth so easily and we never lost the opportunity to have fun and interact with sweet people (especially that facilitator that Noro knows). And Sarah’s early warning did leave me some doubts that deepened with time but towards the end, if I had known, I would not have felt nothing for it. It happened so quick and I wasn’t so aware of it that I lost all feelings for him. I sure did ask for one glance of him and I did get a bit of it but I have no idea why I felt so tired of feeling excited over my infatuation. Anyways, I finally did though.

After the open house, it was dinner time for the family and I was blessed to have such a great time.

[Pictures, tomorrow]


Now that I reiterated the events of my days, I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every individual who made my day (in fact, days).

My dad and my mom: The sweethearts, who never left any opportunity to pamper me till this day. Though I may have seemed spoilt and I think they’re aware of it, they never lifted their trust over me and I love them for being friends to me. I really love you!

My bro and sis: No matter how much a pest they have been to me, they made it up for everything with such a simple token that nearly brought tears in my eyes (but but but, I didn’t cry…lol). You guys rock!

My family (Bibiji, Jaju Chacha Ji, Pi Chacha Ji and Chachi Ji, Bhoujiji, Mamaji, Pavan, Simmran, Karan, Auntyji): All the birthday wishes and calls I got from them just heightened my exuberance.

Sarah, Aruna and Sammy: My lovely angels. What they did, the surprise, was very meaningful and I really have no words for it. Most importantly, I want to thank them for teaching me all the important lessons of life in a polytechnic, for being there even when at times we don’t happen to be of the same frequencies.

Asvin: What was cool was the fact that she called to wish me after forgetting even though we were just a few feet away. And how can I forget the times she reminded me that my birthday was coming up as though I really forgot about it. LOL. Babes, how cute!

Sharan, Simran, Cherie, Yogoh and Nas: My best pals. Being there and feeling the excitement I would for myself, I love them for that. Thank you guys!

Fidah and Noro: I want thank these guys for literally embarrassing the hell out of me on both days with those rather loud birthday wishes. It may have been too much for me to handle, but it was sick! (As in, good!)

A liar has a good memory.
He has a lot of information in his back-up drive.
But if one tells the truth,
He doesn’t have to remember anything said.

I know I will never learn. But this feeling's superb. It's a reason to look forward to break time.
Just one glance is more than enough. And sharing this with the people who mean alot to me adds to the excitement.
I'm missing these talks with my siblings.

If I had been a guy, would I look any different?

Maybe...

Broader shoulders (by 7-8 inches)
Obviously shorter tresses...and I like them spiked! LOL
And taller, thats for sure (by 15-20 cm).

And I wouldn't have the restrictions I have posed on me.
Aplenty bhangra nights with the crew.

Best part, I would be allowed to take a bike license.
Riding in the night on my Suzuki babe!

And I can reprimand my sister, being the oldest.
I can pratice my possesiveness. How cool is that?

But thinking in terms of relationships, I would have to go for girls.
(And that's a big no-no for me - have you seen the mainstream punjabis?
No wonder, some go for other races. Sad, man!)

However, I can't go around gossiping. That is the downfall, innit? Unless, yeah, unless, I want to a be a big wuss of a guy and exaggerate tales about others - but that's like being a pansy, innit?
Digging my own grave...Freaking stupid, man!


I guess I'll just stick to liking guys, being the girl I am. :)

Something is happening to me these days.



Last night, I had a dream which has left me vivid memories of me asking myself "what the hell?"



It was an enactment of the day he mistook me for her. It was more likely of what we had expected to happen.



It had everyone there, almost. The faces I remember seeing was Aru's(or was it Sammy?), Sarah's, G's and Kayurumah's.



And it all happened in the big space in school, where all of a sudden, right before the Wellness room, there were was a couch and a couple of bean bags and armchairs.



I was supposed to be talking to him but when he introduced himself, I was shocked to know that his voice was so boyish. Sarah kept insisting that I talk, but somehow I was shy. And when I did talk, I didn't say much. He did most of the talking. When he went away for a while, I remember sitting on my armchair the way I normally do at home (some gangster way) and then rearrange my sitting because I was a little embarrassed. When he came back, I remember staring at him and we had a moment of silence.



And best part, I remember his features so vividly, it's like seeing him with my naked eye.

1. What do you think of the most when you are alone?
i dun think...

2. When it is a rainy night, what do you do most of the time?
sleep...rainy night and the dark skies power sexy man!

3. When was the last time you were out
yesterday

4. What do you do when you see a full moon
stare at it...so beautiful

5. Would you rather swim in the lake or dive in the ocean?
dive in the ocean

6. What would be the best partner of agood cup of coffee?`
cookies and cream...lol

7. If you'll ask yourself a question now, what would it be?
should I or should I not?

8. If certain things in your life will fall apart, what will you do?
get back on feet slowly. slow and steady wins the race

9. Favorite month/s
December

10. When your friends forget you, what will you do?
I'll slap their face. Unless they have a proper reason.

11. Do you talk to yourself?
Do I look crazy to you?

12. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
Cake

13. Would you like to have a chocolate right now?
nope. heard that. nope. lol

14. Ever cried for something stupid?
nope....even when i cry, i weigh the practicality...i am that weird

15. Do you like anime?
nope

16. How about Japanese music?
nah

17. Do you have a girlfriend?
yeah, many...guys would be jealous

18. First thing you do after watching a movie?
talk about it

19. Do you wash the dishes in your house?
yeah

20. Can you last two days without a bath?
eww no way man

23. Still go to the mall with yourparent?
yeah

25. Are you brand conscious?
Nah not too much

26. Ever fell in love?
nope

27. What time is it?
10.50...i should be sleeping right now since its UT all but i can't

28. Where are you?
home

29. Is it in you to kill someone?
nope but i can hurt

30. Daydream a lot?
yeah. big time

31. Happy with your life?
yeah

33. Favorite place to eat in a mall?
anything...depends on mood

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I LOVE:my life
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MY LAST EX:was an idiot
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I SAY:stuff with no meaning
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE:all I ever want
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I'VE LOST:the ability to trust people
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HATE:full-heads
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MARRIAGEIS:is heavenly
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE BEST:thing ever happens to anyone is love
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I\'LL ALWAYSBE:kiran after all
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT LOVE:is divine
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE LASTTIME I CRIED:was long long time ago
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT, WHEN I WAKEUP IN THE MORNING:I think of the Gs
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BEFORE I GOTO SLEEP AT NIGHT:I think about you
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT RIGHT NOW:my grades is all I care about
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BABIES:are lovely gifts of life
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I GET ONFRIENDSTER:every morning
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TODAY:was a big suprise
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TONIGHT:I will think of you and sleep
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TOMORROW:last day of week
I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I REALLYWANT:sleep

I did and I know God isn't happy with what I did.
I had to.

Thursday.
MCB.

In the morning, the only thing on my mind was today's UT. I had some doubts with one topic. What I was to face was unexpected. A terrible grade for my MCB UT. The test was so easy and I had to screw it. Lesson learnt. No more arrogance. I will lose it if I can't stop my over-confidence.

And I have to step out. That's the best for everyone. Best for me especially.

I can't wait till I am of legal age. I was questioned what's the big deal with being 18. There is no big deal. It just feels like I am coming of age. As in, old enough to be considered mature. HAHA. Me and mature. Biggest contradiction! Whatever it is, nothing beats what I am living now.

I love all my peeps, man! I had to say this. Especially my special one/s :)
You people spell the fun in my life.

And yay me! MOM'S HOME!!!!
God, I missed her. Just chatted with her and I missed her voice. Can't wait till I go home.
My aunt's been a sweet angel who gave me all I wanted and needed during these times.

I'm just waiting for my holidays now so that I can spend good times with them.

What you see may not always be what it is supposed to be.
Ever wondered what you are dealing with may just be a momental thing but it is being escalated because you want it your way.

And I am not one who follows where I am led to, I have a mind of my own and I know where the problem lies. It just needs one confrontation.

If you can't resist, go ahead and say what you have to say.

But I can bet, these are just words. It has never happen and it will never happen.

Tuesday morning: 1.21 am.

Now I am intoxicated. Nope no alcohol, just pure divine intoxication. And I have a reason. It's tuesday morning and my activities just ended.

The weekend has been superb. Starting the weekend with my UT studying to some extent paid off and nothing else would be the glazed cherry on the ice-cream than a shocking find before dinner. J.S. copy - full blast copy! How sick is that! All I could do was stare at that face. Same freaking features. And no exagerration here, man! So I slept with a smile on my face.

Sunday, rewind. I could bet with you that it was a good day to go for a major spree. Though Dad had to leave all alone here to be with the rest of the fam, my afternoon was well spent. After the airport where I suddenly had a fetish for versace and D&G pour homme/ edt what ever it was, we headed to Marina Square where I purchased a couple of stationery items and t-shirts. Then off to Bugis for more shopping and yeah I finally purchased a wallet that spells KIRAN openly.
Yeah Aru, I said Kiran, not Jayroquil. LOL. Dinner was at a kopitiam nearby where we had the best seafood you can ever have in haig road. Yo crew, you guys gotta head to this place man.

Yesterday.
School was cool. I had a tad too much attention than I could ever ask for and yeah, I was speechless. I hate the bloody h*******y I am faced with nowadays. It's hard to trust anyone. Anyway, highlight of the day, I got to spend time with a few of my favourite people and my loved ones. Breakout 1, all of the crew had our brunch. Some guy was attracted to Aru, of all the people.LOL. Nah - you are pretty, just not of my standards.:P . Breakout 2, we discussed our UT ;) and I headed for a rendezvous with Sarah.lol. Ok, that sounds so les. And kuriye, aajana. I've got some wicked stuff to tell you, man! Oh yeah, I saw that weird looking faiz again (I guess this is how you spell it). He's got features but he's short and, I-don't-know, a poser-lookalike. And he so weird, he keeps looking at me, expecting me to what recognise him or something.

One thing I can say, school is a surprise in itself.

After, school I was off to Bugis to watch Goal. Goal is a powerful football movie with a cutie like John and dang, he's good! Watching the movie made me want to go back to my old routine of watching full matches. Superb, Fantastic, Outstanding and Mindblowing. Chakde Phatte Southall!

And I am back home now, falling asleep with each passing moment.

This time I will make your problem my problem
It's going to be personal for me, no matter how redundant it seems on my side
What would I call myself agar main apne yaar ke saath na hoon (yeah babes, you can ask me the meaning, you know who I am talking to)
This is going to be a confrontation of a whole new level.
I promise you and I swear its not out of impulse.
All matters aside, this is it. I'm gonna be done with it.
Full and final.