Verse 1
I can’t believe it, girl
You’ve been making me sound like I was cynical
Desperate to push you out of my sleazy world
Which you openly claimed just wasn’t love
And you told your crew,
Exaggerating everything that you’ve been through
Getting every brainwashed soul just to side you
Tell me why’d you want to erase the truth
Chorus
Come on, girl, it ain’t right
Why’d you pretend it doesn’t matter
Stick to the truth, it ain’t right
When you try change the chapter
Since I’d walked away, walked away
Since I’d walked away, walked away
Verse 2
Almost everyday,
I’m checking your space and all you ever say
That you’ve fallen deeper for me since I went away.
Keeping track of me like I’m ever going to stay.
What this hypocrisy?
Changing stories whenever you get to talk about me
Acting on your space like this’ always meant to be.
Yet making a fuss for all to see.
Chorus
WATCH DIS
my current fav
KIRAN DHALIWAL
=========== jayroquil ===========
Doctor in training
Film Addict
Closet Dancer
Bakwaas Comedian
Bathroom Philosopher
A Grade Procrastinator
1st Class Monkey Business Wali
MY SPACE
words of whacked wisdom
1 There are only 3 things women need in life: food, water and compliments. 2 Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
C H E C K E D
Be able to ride, legally
Living to the fullest
Partying Like A Rockstar
Preach what I'm taught
Get into Monash
Drive into freestylin'
Major Control
S H O U T O U T
-----------------
Day 10: Dhan Te Nan
18:08 - Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Yay! I am done!
10 days of hell. Anyways, I got started with writing lyrics again. Same thing, different words on someone's tune. Yeah, music production is still at a standstill. I have tried sitting down and just trying to mix two songs, but you really need alot of concentration. At the moment, I don't have any. I am just so strained of every bit of energy I had.
Here's a snippet. It's started again.
JRQ Productions Original. Nameless. Lol
“Main ehda inna khyaal rakhya,
Fir bhi ehne meri parvaa naa kiti”
Eh tu kehri kahani sunaaoundi
Saariyaan nu jhooth kyon boldi
Bhulekyaan cho’ nikal ke tu dekh
Aevey naa galaan tu phekh
Sach tera manney naa koi
Phir bhi dil nu naa avey tere tekk
Mainu interest naa teri zindagi da
Meher kiti tu mera khehraa chadhta
Bas ek vaar, mere saamne aake,
Saare ilzaam mere mooh te bolde
Par tainu kujh karan di naa hon lorh
Taithon toh umeed main ditti chorh
Teri vargi dracal naa vadi horh
Bas zindagi de 3 saal mainu tu morh
Tainu dosti na nibhaaouni aundi
Phir bhi saathon commitment chaundi
Mere yaariyaan te nazar lagaaundi
Tainu sharam naa kadhe aaundi
Dasde kehre mooh toh mainu de rahi ilzaam.
Jaa sar apni jhoothi jind vich,
Jaa sar apne krodh, kaam vich.
Never Knew It Was This Hard
22:32 - Tuesday, 30 March 2010
ALright I found this in the archives, and I am glad, I actually wrote this song, cause it finally suits what I feel about you, bitch. I just never knew you were such a strain on my life.
Verse 1 From afar, everyone thought it to be the most perfect But, hell knows that it had just been a deceiving portrait Who would have thought that one day, all would be gone Worlds crashed, leaving shattered with hopes of none.
What you were short of was what all that mattered. Adamant I stood by, my life was hell scattered. I wish I’d broken all ties, with no waste of time Always felt it, knew that you could never be mine.
Chorus Never knew it’d required so much to get rid of you Never knew why I’d been so crazy to put up with you But what’s done, thank God, is long gone I just never knew what I actually saw in you.
Verse 2 No doubt it took a while to get a grip of courage To break it down, to dump everything right at your face Words can’t describe what I had in mind When I won the feat, when I erased your crime
Truth be told, it strained me out of everything I felt Hatred burnt within, I was caught between lines so svelte All I wanted was to avenge with what you made me deal I just got to say that getting rid of you is the best I will ever feel.
Day 9: Insomnia and Disturbia
19:19
Almost there. SO my plan to see the apostles had to be scraped, but I can live with that, with a rock on my heart. Haiya. At least I have Blanky to cry on :'(
* I can't believe I actually said that. yuck
Nah, I have got Nancy Ajram and cookies to straighten myself out. But I seriously think its unfair how, seriously, Om Mangalam, just pops up on my shuffle list everytime. EVERY FRIGGING TIME. You can't even emo properly.Crazy.
I am loving this weather, its cold but not too cold. But it gives me brain-freeze so often. Maybe its a migraine. But it's so hard to tell the difference.
And I am suffering from insomnia. What are the odds of it. Wow. Thanks. If it isn't bad enough that I get really exhausted by the end of the day, I don't get sleep at night. Why? I don't know. It's the same pattern, day after day. Sleep @ 2am. Up @ 5am.
Tu Hi Haqeeqat - Tum Mile
21:12 - Monday, 29 March 2010
Love this song.
Day 8: Fiesty. Grrr
18:39
I called in sick today.
Reason 1: I was feeling dizzy. Perhaps lack of sleep (I was woken up by the early morning traffic), or all that thinking.
Reason 2: I really wasn't in the right mind of state to combat mice today. No mental preparation at all. I admit I am a coward when it comes to handling animals, even something as small as mice. But dude, this things even rock the shit out of the biggest of scientists.
Reason 3: I just wanted to complete the major parts of the review. Now I am pretty much left with the conclusion, editing, figure details and project outline.
Tomorrow, I am up with full force! Not!
I just can't get over Jay Sean. He's sexy lah. Here macam faham nonchalant all. LoL
Day 7: Ajj Din Chadeya . . .
19:53 - Sunday, 28 March 2010
Ajj Din Chadeya, Mere Jeans De Rang Varga.
Meeh Bahut Hai Barsaa Ajj Din
Rabba, Jadon Din Ajj Da Daley,
Meher Karee'n, Thandh Naa Vadhey
Somehow Mere Kaprey Sukhaa'de
Tainu Mere Bad Luck Da Vaasta
The day started with the sky the colour of my jeans,
It rained alot today,
God, when the "sun" sets,
Please don't reduce the temperature
Somehow, get my laundry dried
For the sake of my horrible luck.
That's a modified version of a really awesome song. Whoever is a great fan of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, I apologise for tampering with the lyrics.
It's been seriously raining hardcore since God knows when, and though, I really love the coolness such a weather brings about, it's irritating how I can't continue with my sleep or aimlessly cuddle up with hot chocolate and DDLJ.
Anyways, back to the actual issue. 75% done. Which doesn't include figures. Wow. Now, the scary part; I hope there's enough time to finish it up and edit it before handing it in, with the project outline (which I have yet to get started on).
Anyways, just another week to pull through. Almost there. And EASTER is here!
Mahive
23:48 - Saturday, 27 March 2010
Mahi Ve - Josh
Mahi ve mahi ve arzz karaan
Mainu vi asmaani fitrat dey
Vadaan ve hogi ve chhukiyaan ravaan
Dola ve dola ve himmat dey
Ho jo bhi mile pyaar naal mila
hi nafrat dil 'cho dhoor karke
Je kar mein aavey jaan meri odey
taan hathaa'n utey dedaa'n jaan tarke
Insaani rishta nibhavaan main
Gehraan nu apna banavaan main
Ho jo bhi devey laakh sarr maththey
Mein jindjaavan saari zindagaani
Main teri razaa dey vich hoya raazi,
teri meherbaani
Kisi da bhi hakk main naa khaa'vaan
Apni rah chalde jaavaan
Permit me to ask for the stature that exceeds all limits.
Despite achieving success, give me the strength to remain humble.
Should I chance upon anyone, make me share love and remove hatred from within.
Should a situation arise, make me trust my life upon the hands of the others.
Make me commit myself to humanity, making strangers my family.
What You bestow upon me, I'll take that as my fortune, living my life to the fullest.
It's all in Your hands, I have agreed to live by your generosity.
Teach me to be righteous with rights, to mind my matters.
I love this song! So much meaning!
Day 6: Aku Tak Tahu Tau
22:13
Day6: I AM SO DARN EXHAUSTED.
I woke up late. Biggest mistake ever. Overestimated everything and now, have 1700 words and a project outline to do by 01/04/10. APRIL FOOLS! NOT!
The games kismat is playing with me arent really that funny, I tell you. But then again, I'll just be a lazy bum, and tell my sup, I need a day extra. Sounds alright.
I'm seriously going crazy at this time of the day.
It's funny how both of you know but I didn't know until today. Weirdos. LoL
Day 5: Men Kam Sana Wana Mayaal Mayaal
20:50 - Friday, 26 March 2010
Day 5: TGIF!
Yes! I was so looking forward to the weekend. Really. It's hard to get working on the lit review after a long day at lab. Imagine not sitting for hours, and finally you plop on that cushion, your butt or you just let out a loud sigh (no pun intended). In that circumstance, who, in their sane mind, would do any work instead of resting. I did. And I couldn't stop after that. It's a bad addiction, I swear. I even bothered weighing the pros and cons of hanging out with Rav in comparison to doing my work and then sleeping. Seriously, I was 80% close to saying yes to just leaving everything for the day and, go out and let loose. But no!!! The mind is so overpowering, using guilt as a major weapon, that I actually said No! And I was stuck with hours of paraphrasing 4 research papers and 2 text books. Wow! How fun!
If I don't finish this by Tuesday, I'm going to die. Of boredom. Of stress. Of living the life of a hobo.
The stress is bringing out the worse bitch in me, seriously. I don't remember ever being such a rantful asshole, always complaining. Urgghhhh!
Did I mention, I freaked out with the mice today. Major heartbeat elevation, man! They were so active, literally jumping out, that I had a hard time handling them and gave up after the 2nd mouse (and there were only 3 to handle). Like a scared cat. Pffft, the irony.
Day 4: Mouse-Woman
17:49 - Thursday, 25 March 2010
Day 4: I couldnt get much done. Whole day was spent at the lab, since today's the first day to get some smears from the mice. And I got bitten, twice, by the same mouse. Stupid thing. But guess what, it got culled! Serve you right.
In terms of the review, I have practically prepared all the notes I'd ever need and should get starting tomorrow evening or saturday morning.
And I should organise a tetanus short soon.
Day 3: Visuals of the Past
17:47 - Wednesday, 24 March 2010
It's day 3. And I am sick and tired of doing it. For some reason, reaching 4000 words seems like a feat akin to climbing Mt. Everest.
I really want to go to India. It's literally been ages since the last time I went with my whole family. I think it was the December of 2006. I keep seeing the khet and amritsar airport everytime I think about my Mom and bro. LoL.
Anyway, back to the devil of a literature review. The most stressful part of it is not integrating the information from papers, it's more like thinking if what I have written is worth every bit of a HD (apparently, I seriously need it to get into Med school!!!). 'Cause, for the first time, I have literally used my words, my own sentences, although I must admit, there were times I was so darn tempted to just copy and rephrase the shit out of the reviews. Yeahh, it took alot of control and cursing to stop myself.
Now I have the whole genomic and proteomic stuff to get over, not forgetting the other things I have to read up on. Arrrghhh
Day 2: I Have No Resources
20:43 - Tuesday, 23 March 2010
It's Day 2 of the Literature review process.
Plus point, my speed doubled in terms of integrating information (probably, because I had personal notes from the previous year to help me phrase my sentences)
Minus point, I can't seem to find decent resources to reference my opinions and the facts.
I can't believe I just spent 5 hours staring into the laptop screen. And I am starting to suspect that I might be suffering from myokymia. The recurrences are alot frequent nowadays.
And 2700++ words more....aaaargh
Just a usual rant.
Stuck in the Middle
19:50 - Saturday, 20 March 2010
There's a reason why I am scared of taking phone calls from home. As much as I want to talk to everyone, hearing their voice just makes me weaker. Being weak right now, is not the most practical thing to do. I'm just going to lose my momentum and screw every bit up. But, I just can't.
When I look at my house-mate and her Mum, sometimes, I wish my mum would be here to look after me. I just want to sit next to my Mum and watch shows after shows with her. Or to talk to her about everything under the sun while doing chores.
On my way to the hospital, when I see a father sending his kids to school, I miss my rides to school with my Dad. I miss being teased and scolded. I miss being taught how to drive.
When I see pictures my friends and their siblings posted on Facebook, I miss playing around with Sharan and Amman, being bullied and fighting. I miss talking to my sister at night. I miss escaping my brother's "deadly" chases.
The list could go on, but it'll just make me weaker. I miss everything and everyone.
It's sickening how you have to compromise so much just to chase dreams. At any point of time, I'd rather be an unqualified test-tube washer in a Singapore lab than be working my ass off all alone in the dead lonely night to achieve my qualifications.
It's a war between the heart and the mind.
Somebody call 911
10:22
Guys with a crew cut and striped shirts are just so sexy! LOL
And don't you hate it when out of impulse, you start to jump, forgetting you ever had an injury and then the nanosecond before you land, you realise how much pain it's going to give you, making you regret your decision.
But, it seems like a cure. Wow.
Rabba mere din yeh naa dhale,
Woh jo mujhe khwaab mein mile
Usey tu lagaade ab gale
Tainu dil da vaasta
Rabba aaya darr de yaar de
Saara jahaan chod chad ke
Mere sapney sawaar de
Tainu dil da vaasta
St. Bummer's Day
17:03 - Thursday, 18 March 2010
Today, literally marks St. Bummer's Day. Only in my diary. No supervision, no lab procedures, no training. I am supposed to have started noting down the points from papers to start off my literature review piece, but I chose to be a "housewife". Hopefully, by tonight, I'd get some work done.
Wow. Nice. Very mature.
I Wanna Be An Undergrad, again.
18:15 - Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Today, there was very little of the lab and a lot of campus dwelling. But I liked it, really. I miss going for lectures, hanging out at the Campus centre (and checking guys out) and "studying" at the library (again, checking Samone out). I felt like a student again for once, not a lab rat. But then again, I don't regret graduating (who does actually?), I just miss campus life. Actually. the people on campus
No matter how much it angers me, no matter how much it hurts me the way you approach me, I still can't see you in this state. I just can't. But it is definitely upsetting, when you believe her.
2 Weeks Down, Down, Down
15:25 - Sunday, 14 March 2010
Menu for the week:
- Saro'n da Saag (Minced Spinach)
- Cantonese Stir-Fried Chicken
Beat that. LoL
Believe it or not, Mummy Ji's 2-month crash course in cooking actually worked. In fact, I'd say this is probably 20 years of my experience as a spectator watching not just Mummy Jhi, but Bibi Ji and Chachi Ji cook various Punjabi dishes in their respective kitchens.
This is what uni is making out of me. Asvin termed it as being a housewife (thanks, man. -__-). For some reason, I feel like a responsible working adult (without the responsibility and cashflow, that is). With close to 8 hours of lab each day (- (2 hours of lunch + 1 hour of facebooking) = 5 hours actually), I come home to either do laundry, clean my room or toilet or stare at my laptop. It really exhausts the shit of you. :P
Honestly, lab's been awesome so far, with good getaways with Jacy and Karen during lunch (it's nice to have them around). Although, I hate the part about having to move between the main campus and the hospital to attend Core lectures, I love how there's a sense of independence and responsibility I have over my own project. As long as I have it all planned, I have no one to answer to (or knowing me, I'd create every weird excuse I can think of if I had to).
As far as social life is concerned, I'm not totally anti-social as I chose to be last year. It's great catching up with so many from SEF. In fact, we have had good fun :) , and "there's more to come". But then again, some people have been missed alot ;). Fidah, Santosh, Gina and Jovina.
SHOUT OUT
If I hadn't been here, I would have confronted the 2 of you and your best girlfriend altogether. Yeah, I know how much she hates confrontations and how much she's avoided it throughout the last year, not just with me, but with you as well (always hiding behind the computer screen and, spurting words feigning sincerity and honesty). And, NO, I'm am not spinning webs in the air, I mean it. But guess what, there are some things you really should find out, or God forbid, realize it at your own accord. Like how she thinks you are a burden and time spent with you is a pain or how she thinks you don't show appreciation enough for her being there for you and your broken heart. Sounds familiar, go figure. There's alot more from where that came from. And just because I chose not to reveal everything, and yet be honest with G Unit, I get this shit. Politics. Very nice. Thanks guys.
الله رحيم
13:27 - Wednesday, 3 March 2010
I see that you really know how to use people. Not even concered about how they'd feel. As long as you benefit out of it, what does it matter, innit? But guess what, the world doesn't evolve around you, you and you. You need it. No one cares.