Verse 1
I can’t believe it, girl
You’ve been making me sound like I was cynical
Desperate to push you out of my sleazy world
Which you openly claimed just wasn’t love
And you told your crew,
Exaggerating everything that you’ve been through
Getting every brainwashed soul just to side you
Tell me why’d you want to erase the truth
Chorus
Come on, girl, it ain’t right
Why’d you pretend it doesn’t matter
Stick to the truth, it ain’t right
When you try change the chapter
Since I’d walked away, walked away
Since I’d walked away, walked away
Verse 2
Almost everyday,
I’m checking your space and all you ever say
That you’ve fallen deeper for me since I went away.
Keeping track of me like I’m ever going to stay.
What this hypocrisy?
Changing stories whenever you get to talk about me
Acting on your space like this’ always meant to be.
Yet making a fuss for all to see.
Chorus
WATCH DIS
my current fav
KIRAN DHALIWAL
=========== jayroquil ===========
Doctor in training
Film Addict
Closet Dancer
Bakwaas Comedian
Bathroom Philosopher
A Grade Procrastinator
1st Class Monkey Business Wali
MY SPACE
words of whacked wisdom
1 There are only 3 things women need in life: food, water and compliments. 2 Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
C H E C K E D
Be able to ride, legally
Living to the fullest
Partying Like A Rockstar
Preach what I'm taught
Get into Monash
Drive into freestylin'
Major Control
S H O U T O U T
-----------------
Yessssaaar!
22:21 - Friday, 30 April 2010
Last night! No more 2 am culls! Hah! Anyways, I am so going to miss walking the hospital at night. It's a creepy place, but its so quiet, it's serene.
Guess what, I had the weirdest of dreams during my evening nap. It felt so real, for a moment I actually thought I wasn't asleep. I dreamt, I asked some weird wacko taxi driver to send me to some place in Box Hill. And after I alighted, the wacko wanted to wait for me. So fearing I might run out of money, I decided to pay him for my short trip. But he insisted on waiting (that's going to charge too), and he became so persistent, I lost it and actually tried strangling him. It felt so real, that I actually felt the exact emotions and my muscle tensing. Just then, EMRAAN HASHMI decided to chase me, because for some reason, he thought I stole his car. I swear, despite being elated at the fact that such a hot guy was chasing me, I actually ran like I was the culprit; to the point that I could climb buildings like some kung fu guy. And then everything seemed as if a movie was going on. Like scenes of the car being driven by some other people, etc. And then the story changed into a love story in London with SHAH RUKH KHAN, during a Vesakhi celebration. Wow. It was a really vivid dream, as if I really was there. Maybe just some of my thoughts playing out in whole. LOL
Aaya Tere Dar Par Deewana
22:22 - Thursday, 29 April 2010
Jo Bandishein Thi Zamaane Ki Thodh Aaya Hoon
Main Tere Vaaste Duniyaa Ko Chodh Aaya Hoon
Tera Jalwa Jo Paaoon, Main Har Gham Bhool Jaaoon
Tera Jalwa Jo Main Paaoon, Main Toh Har Gham Bhool Jaaoon
Yeh Aasu Jo Hai Behte, Bas Itna Hai Yeh Kehte
Kahaan Tu Aur Kahaan Main, Paraaya Hoon Yahaan Main
Karam Itna Agar Ho, Ke Mujh Par Ek Nazar Ho
Jaan-O Dil Vaardoon Main, Zindagi Haardoon Main
Jaise Shamaa Pe Marta Hai Parwaana
Aaya Tere Dar Par Deewana
Aaya Kis Morh Pe Afsaana
Yeh Sitam Ka Riwaajh Kyun Hai, Jaisa Hai Yeh Samaajh Kyun Hai
Yeh Duniyaan Ki Hai Rasmein, Main Hoon Ab Inke Bas Mein
Yeh Jo Duniyaan Ki Hai Rasmein, Main Hoon Ab Inke Hi Bas Mein
Naa Puchcho Kya Gilaa Hai, Mujhe Gham Kyun Milaa Hai
Tumhe Main Kya Bataaoon, Mohabbat Jurm Hai Kyun
Koi Rota Hai Kyun, Aisa Hota Hai Kyun
Kyun Dil Se Har Ek Hai Anjaana
Aaya Kis Morh Pe Afsaana
Yeh Kis Mahaul Mein Hum Hai,
Khushi Ke Bhes Mein Gham Hai
Kise Apna Kahe Kise Begaana
Aaya Kis Morh Pe Afsaana
Sounds so much like kirtan.
You know the feeling...
22:52 - Tuesday, 27 April 2010
You know the feeling you get when you realise, in the late afternoon, that your day just started. You know the feeling you get when you realise that, oh I might just have to clock in extra hours.(what are the odds of that?) You know the feeling you get when, bit by bit, your brain starts to shut down and your eyes start drying up. You know the feeling you get when you have to resort to caffeine (no choice!) just to keep yourself alert. You know the feeling you get when even the loudest of songs can't keep your eyes open. You know the feeling you get when you have to smell dead mice bodies amidst all the muddle of aforementioned feelings (Not too good a combination).
You know all these feelings don't actually make sense. Neither do I. Multi-system shut down.
Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
22:04 - Monday, 26 April 2010
I just love old songs. They have such beautiful original tunes. My favourite of all time is this one, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (from the Suhaag).
That's the way, Kiki's Way
13:45
Don't you just love life changing moments?
One moment, I am dreading every bit I am doing, and the next, it's like "so what?".
Now the sun seems so much brighter, the air so crisp. The cars wheezing by don't sound as irritating and I am a hell lot high on God knows what! Helllllloooo Melbourne!
Maybe it was just exhaustion and lack of food but whatever the case, it's done for! Back to lab! And who am I kidding, I love the nights in. Better than falling asleep! Hahaha
Let's rock it baby!
Emotional Attyachaar
23:31 - Sunday, 25 April 2010
I admit, I always try to find every reason to escape. I am build this way. I have always run away from commitment.
In primary school, I dabbled in so many extracurricular activities because I simply got bored of it. Organ group, Drama, Swimming, Science club, Indian Dance. Secondary school was pretty much just art club and floorball.
Right when I thought I got my calling in floorball and decided I should pursue that sport in RP, I was turned off by the commitment I had to put in weekly. (5 days training is crazy shit) And then the trend started again. In the past years, I have dabbled so much in so many things, I suspect if this is getting worse with my age. Initially, I thought research was my sort of thing (like, yeah, I can handle it...it's 9 to 5, isnt it?). Now, it's crazy shit. Crazy times, huge workloads. That is loads of commitment, even worse than undergrad. Escape isn't even a choice. It's being such a torture, I can't do but compromise. And compromises don't come easy. They take every bit of energy, every single bit.
Exchanging a carefree life with that of being caged behind lab walls (or even my room), is as good as going cold turkey. Damn the withdrawal symptoms.
Med school is my only other option.
Such A Coward
08:54 - Friday, 23 April 2010
I am actually experiencing all this fears, for real.
Philophobia
Agoraphobia
Illyngophobia
Trypanophobia
Murophobia
Molysomophobia
Jogi Maahi
20:11 - Thursday, 22 April 2010
Suno ek thi kaach ki gudiya
Suno ek thi pyaar ki pudiya
Sadke us pyaar ke
Suno ek tha pind da sheraa
Aaya kaske baandh woh sehraa
Sadke us pyaar ke
Jogi Maahi Heer Ranjhna
Sabh nu jaake main yeh bolnaa
Baat bolke, raaz kholnaa
Rab Rakha
16:31 - Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Je mann hove bechain, Te fikaraan vich lage rehn Ta jawaab sirf Ek kol hunda ae
Je dil poochche sau sawaal, Jis da kise apne kol naa jawaab Ta jawaab sirf Ek kol hunda ae
Je samajh naa aave koi gal Ke kyon bekhyaali chhaaondi har pal Ta jawaab sirf Ek kol hunda ae
Ek hi hai saada guru, saada akaal poorakh.
Nanak Bhagta Sadaa Vigaas Kariye Doop-Paap Ka Naas
Give 'Em What They Want, And Don't Stop
21:00 - Monday, 19 April 2010
It's 11pm and I am still stuck in lab. Four hours until the end of the day. Wow. If that's bad enough, I am suffering from a lack of sleep and probably have a low glucose level. Damn. Disorientation mode is kicking in. I have been experiencing too much of that, plus, short term memory loss. Seriously, whatever it is, is screwing up by system, big time. Ok, I am just a little cranky. Well, at the rate the culling is going, I'd be very glad if I could complete the two batches by this week or early next week. Oooh, and there's a public holiday next Monday! Yay!! Oh wait, Seminar 1! Damn la!. Now, kill me.
I should fix an appointment with the Doc soon. The pain's back in the foot. I didn't even have dhal! Arrrghhh.
Shouldn't I live it my way?
22:25 - Saturday, 17 April 2010
Is it necessary to live my life according to the way people expect me to live, according to how they perceive I should live? Then what's the purpose? It won't be my life at all. I will be a puppet controlled by strings of perceptions. Why is it necessary to care what people say? Especially people who don't matter at all. They don't own me, I don't owe them anything. So why can't I just let it be how it is? If God has trust in me, if my family has trust in me, if I have trust in myself, why is so hard to let me lead it my way? I am old enough.
BADMAASH COMPANY
19:37 - Thursday, 15 April 2010
Shahid is so darn sexy!! Fooyo!
Neend - Imran Khan
17:34
Imran Khan is a genius. His lyrics are so meaningful, with awesome beats! Sick stuff man!
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
Kitey ishq naa ho jaave, dil darda rehnda ai
Par tainu milne nu, dil marda rehnda ai
Je disey na mukhda tera, aukhi raat langaaouni nei
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
Jad saamne aa jaye, kujh keh vi sagda nei
Par taithon vakh ho ke hoon reh vi sagda nei
Duniya cho dhoor lajaake, tainu gal samjaaoni nei
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
Ek vagda dariya si, kisey morh te rukda nei
Awaara parinda si, moti vi chughda nei
Par tere dar te kharh gaya, paade khair je paaouni ni
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
Meri dil di dharti te saawan bann ke aaja
Janmaan to pyaasa haan, badli bann ke chaahja
Tere nain samundron dhoongey, vich dhaari laaouni ni
Tere darshan bare zaroori nahin te phir neend na aaoni nei
For the fourth time, go. . .
16:21 - Monday, 12 April 2010
I am now at my fourth draft, and totally exhausted. Seriously, so much for 7.5%. It's a good thing I am actually understanding it in the process, else it would have really pissed me off. I am not a hard worker, and I rather spend that time doing something worthwhile.
Serious shit! Losing sleep, horrible eating pattern, body acting up. This is literally screwing me up
Can't tell me nothing now, baby, I know how to fly. . .
Can't nothing hold me down, I' gonna touch the sky. . .
The Devil Speaks Proteomics
20:26 - Wednesday, 7 April 2010
07/04/10 marks a new beginning. . . to my mice handling! Hahaha!
For the first time in history, I successfully performed vaginal smears on two fiesty mice, without having to put those poor things through too much trauma. The remaining two didn't really cooperate much so my colleague handled them. For some reason, I feel like a superhero now - like something's goten accomplished. There's one really fiesty one I can't stand. Every time I look at it, it feels as if it's taunting me through it's beady eyes with a "Catch Me If You Can" sort of stare. It's definitely going to be a combat in time to come. Urrghhh.
Anyway, the devil's back! As I had expected, my supervisors weren't fully enjoying their holidays and were too keen on doing work (in other terms, editing my review for any lack of scientific information - that's just the first round). And I received the first bit of it today - the whole section on the proteomics of follistatin. Wow. I wouldn't say there are major changes (Thanks Wendy for being kind =]) but there were irritating bits and pieces that had to be replaced/added/deleted. And since Proteomics and I don't really go well together, dealing with it all over again was like walking on hot coal. Excruciating.
But that's done for. Next bit, with the project outline, would be out tomorrow evening, as promised by Jane. Redoing that bit would be alot more harrowing than the first bit, since this was pretty much based on prior knowledge, and I would have to source for papers again.
*I swear I must be really bored out of my mind to be updating about my work progress. This is crazy.
Back to Lab
21:52 - Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Seriously, the suckers here don't understand that every student should be treated the same way, post-grad or not. I WANT A WEEK OF HOLIDAYS!!!! Everyone's getting it! I want! I want! I want!
:P
Yeah, that's the child in me throwing tantrums. So, apparently, a few groups of students are not as lucky as the undergrads and have no choice but to return to their respective institutes to get their asses back to work. So, back to lab! Now, 4 mice to handle. Hai Rab. Easter was a good holiday. I have yet to catch up on my sleep. Bleah. The weekend's like 3 days away, and I doubt I would be getting any, considering the deadline's next thursday. And I better get a holiday off on wednesday...
"Babbbbyyy, Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai!!"
21:13 - Monday, 5 April 2010
I don't get why people make such a fuss about relationships at the tender age of 16. Yeah 16! It's all cool to be in love and all...but grow up seriously. Who the hell fights over a guy on FB ? Who announces every second about how much you are "in love" with this guy? Who has text wars just because someone else isn't so pleased with your new found muse? Like seriously, dude, get a grip. We know you are in a relationship. It's well established. Stop bombarding my home page, asshole. It's an eyesore. Days ago, you were crying like a baby, trying to be all filmy, 'cause he wasn't yours. Now, when he's yours, stop the shit, man!
Yeah I've been there before; in fact even at 17, I wasn't so stupid. What the heck is wrong with you?
I Am Not The Shooting Star
20:54
I always learn it the hard, always. And guess what, this time around, it's not happening. At all. I'm gonna let go. Total clean sheet. Redeemed.
I don't know what I was thinking. Seriously.
I don't want to be scarred again. Every time I see him online, seeing his personal message always scraps the old wound open. He was something, and I let it be more. Now, despite having picked up the pieces the last 8 months, it still bothers me. It's totally changed me. And I doubt it's for good. The first one is always the deepest wound.
Easter weekend
22:45 - Sunday, 4 April 2010
You know something; I just experienced three days of heaven.
Day 1: Picnic with Sha and Rav
We headed to Jells Park for an afternoon picnic and pretty much hung out there, until impulse brought us to Mt. Dandenong, just minutes away from the park. There, I was literally taken on a ride through surrealism. You know the feeling you get when you have an out of your body experience. It pretty much seemed like I was in a dream. Beautiful would be an understatement. WOW! Really, I would love to relive that again. If that was enough, we headed to Sharanya’s for a night of games with Jeanne. She’s got an awesome chic place, man!
Day 2: Steamboat with Jacy and Lil Boy (Karen)
In the evening, I headed over to their place (which is also wow!) and had a steamboat after so long. It was so nice, I was full with the soup. And Wiii! I never played it before, so getting introduced to it was like how you’d feel when you get a new toy. It was addictive. Super fun! God I miss the arcade. :P.
Day 3: Lunch at Rav’s
Rav cooked awesome nasi lemak. I loved the sambal, despite the low tolerance and fear of chillies (yeah, you heard that right), and the chicken. It made me miss home. There’s a nasi lemak stall near my place that cooks the same sort of chicken and sambal, and on lazy days, it’s my family’s staple. Oh well.
After lunch, I finally fell on my bed and knocked out a good two hours. Now my head is hurting like shit. Still have 2 more days till the holidays end and I am sure going to get a good rest (I hope I do)
And I’m missing my Mom and Dad!
*Another joke played. Thanks
You Just Got Punked
20:24 - Thursday, 1 April 2010
Today, on April Fools, I got PUNKED twice. What's the big deal? Hear me out.
First, it was my colleague.
RG (Her name): So was the mouse in the estrus stage?
Me: Yeah, it was in transition.
RG (nonchalantly): In that case, we have to be here tomorrow to get it culled. You alright with that?
Me (eyebrows raised): It's a public holiday tomorrow?
RG: Yeah, but you're an honours student and you should be available anytime, you should be readily committing your time for your project.
Me: Yeahhh, it's not that. Won't the lab be close tomorrow?
RG: Don't you have the key? You should get the key. You do know that we will have to work overtime, there's no holiday for us. I had to work my weekends weeks ago just to look after some pregnant mice.
Me: Can't we do it on Saturday?
RG: It would have passed the stage. We'll have to get it done by tomorrow.
Me (at a loss of words to argue): Alright.
RG (laughing): Nah it's alright, we'll do it next week!
I left the room, only to realise I had just been punked. Hahahaha. But it definitely felt good to be fooled, after such a horridly long day. Worth a good laugh. (Fidah was so easily pranked!)
2nd joke: My Kismat.
This one is classic. And I deserve this BIG TIME. After calling in sick a number of times (which were all fake) to get time for the review, guess what decided to catch up with me. My lies. Every single lie. All that throughout the course of the day. After being psyched up about finally revisiting Nott, I finally had a good sleep last night. This morning, I was woken up with a horrible heavy feeling in the head. If that wasn't enough, after breakfast, I felt nauseas (morning sickness! LOL), which lasted throughout the day. And the weather wasn't any good. And then the supposed cold. Yes, it decided to finally visit me. All at once. And when I thought I'd still be alright after all these and a nap, things just got worse.
That's why they say, never lie, 'cause Karma is a bitch. Learnt my lesson the hard way.
Another addition to all the jokes life's played on me. Every time, it's made me a fool, I have had a great laugh at my foolishness. Seriously. I don't even know when I should ever take life seriously.
*Maybe I am slow to realise, but Dolby Digital Sound System is awesome.
