Sometimes it makes me really wonder, how could I have stopped being overwhelmed with such a situation. Especially a situation, that in many others’ words could be considered the end of the world. But I don’t feel that way. And I don’t know why. It won’t be right to term it that way. That’s is frigging obsessiveness. But am I really running away from the situation? Or is the new freedom seemingly scaring the shit outta me. I can’t possible be, can I? I guess a part of me always wanted to move on; after all, I am only 19…yeah not even 20 yet and I practically have my whole life to live. There’s so many fishes out there (that is very cliché) and yeah, literally, life just began for me. I just learnt to be independent and confident of what I am and what I am capable of. Just being at a standstill these 18 months wasn’t really normal of me to do. What was I thinking? Everything was simply intertwined around one name and that was really not what Kiran ever did. Seriously, how chidlish could I get? And now, I need to make a change in my life; in my 4-5 months here in melbourne, I have not really done what jayroquil would have done (god, I sound crazy mentioning myself in a third person’s point of view); I need to make that change. Seriously, I have all the effing emotional freedom to do whatever I want, like whoever I want with no emotional strings attached. This is basically what I need. Something that doesn’t hold me back. At all. Whatever I did in that 18 months, is outta of question. And all that while, I always feared it. I know I will always run away from it; I am a weener when it comes to that.

Apparently, I have been using the word “apparently” a lot. I have horrible addictions seriously. And mornings, dawn as they say, are not the best times to be awake ‘cause, apparently, there’s too much time that makes you wanna reflect on everything possible.

And oh, did I mention there’s this hot guy in my core module who is so darn hot, makes you literally drool *strike heart* and go weeee!!! As if.